When we lack self-love we berate ourselves for our failures. We say, ‘I should have made time for that’. ‘I know I’m just lazy’. But the truth is, when we lack self-love we lack the inner motivation to start the change cycle.
And if you didn’t manage to complete yesterday’s task you know exactly what I’m talking about.
Even though we have hopes and dreams, life always ends up getting in the way. We have to earn a living, we have obligations, and at the end of the day, we don’t have the energy to fuel the motivation needed to pursue our dreams.
Beautiful pictures, breathtaking speeches or pep talks by someone else won’t do you any good if you don’t have a deeper purpose — an inner unshakable force that drives your actions from a place of deep wisdom and certainty.
And in today’s second exercise, we’ll focus on some exercises to ignite your inner motivation.
You need to enjoy the process, not the goal.
Often, we find it hard to be motivated because we don’t enjoy the task, only the outcome. If you are changing your eating habits because you want to lose a specific amount of weight, not because you want to enjoy healthy food – you often fail.
If you started a blog because you wanted to earn more, but don’t like writing – you’ll find it hard to succeed.
In your journal, write down a few things you want to achieve.
And then answer these questions about each of those goals:
When you can answer these questions, you will find your deeper purpose. The true reason you have that goal.
And from there you need to re-assess your values related to that goal. Why are you trying to eat healthily to lose weight? Because of someone else’s perception of you?
That goal does not have self-love attached to it. You are making a change because of someone else’s values and goals for you. You are trapping yourself in the views of other people.
If you need to eat healthily and/or lose weight to improve your own health and well-being, this is a self-love centred goal and is more likely to succeed.
If your deeper purpose in starting a blog is to earn extra money, but your heart’s not in it, explore the things you do love doing, go online, join chat groups on Facebook – and find a hobby or a secondary means of income that you really would enjoy doing.
Figure out what you want to achieve and ask if you’re really doing it for yourself or is someone nagging you to do it? Plan a way to achieve it that satisfies you.
Next, in our final lesson, we will explore the physical ways we can practice self-love.