Exercise 3: Write A Love Letter to Yourself

Exercise 3: Write A Love Letter to Yourself

When we express ourselves through writing, we get the chance to put our heart on paper. We tap into our deepness and exhale with words.

Words are powerful. In the last task we learnt that how we speak to ourselves, in our heads is important and often we’re pretty nasty and mean to ourselves.

So, in addition to re-phrasing your self-doubts this week, today’s task is to write a love letter to yourself in your journal, on your phone or computer, or on a piece of paper – whatever feels most authentic to you.

This exercise works really well as a break from your phone, computer, or tablet by turning everything off. You’ll prevent distractions, and it will be easier to focus on what you’re writing. However, if you feel more comfortable writing electronically, put your devices on silent, and exit out of any open apps to reduce distraction.

Find a comfortable, quiet space. Give yourself permission to be intentional about this exercise —make it feel like a self-love date rather than a chore.

Set a timer for 15 minutes and try to write for at least that long. If you want to continue writing after the timer goes off, wonderful! Write for as long as you’d like, or stop after the 15 minutes are up; it’s up to you.

Begin with “Dear [your name]” and just start writing. Think about what you’d say if you were writing to a loved one (and you are!).

Feeling stumped about how to start? Here are some ideas of what to say:

  • What have you done well this year? What do you do well in general?
  • What challenges have you overcome, recently and throughout your life? Why does that make you proud of yourself?
  • Think about what you need to hear right now. Maybe you need encouragement, validation, or someone to say “I love you just as you are.” Write it to yourself.
  • What things are you looking forward to in the future?
  • What do you love and appreciate about yourself? This can be anything from a talent or ability to the colour of your eyes.

These are just some ideas, but write whatever you’d like — just think love-focused phrases and encouragement.

Don’t think. Just write. Your love letter needn’t be eloquent or well-written. Don’t worry so much about grammar or spelling or making things flow perfectly. Just write what comes to your mind — what’s in your heart.

We also tend to downplay or forget how much we’ve accomplished, whether it’s in the form of success at work or raising a family or anything in between.

Even if you aren’t feeling self-love or positivity when you start your letter, even if you feel resistance, think about amplifying the love within you towards family, friends, loved ones … and start radiating and re-directing that love you feel to you.

Write down anything and everything you want to hear, and be kind and loving. You deserve it.

Sign off your letter with Love, and your name. Put the note next to your bed (if it’s a physical note) and read it out loud to yourself tomorrow morning.

While writing a physical note to yourself might seem or feel silly or strange at first, it is a powerful, and often emotional, experience. Consider it a reminder that no matter what happens, you are worthy, you are loved, and you have the power to remind yourself of this at any time.

When I was at a particular low, I bought myself a beautiful card with roses on. I wrote a love letter to me where I valued my dreams and what I dreamt for myself. Now years later I still value this card.

In the next lesson we will explore igniting your inner motivation.