End Note Congratulations on making it through your first lesson. Learning and understanding the early warning signs of abuse should have helped you to realise that you did not knowingly enter an abusive relationship. They say “hind sight is 20/20” and this is true for relationship mishaps. “If only” someone had told you these signs early. “If only” the alarm bells had gone off sooner. But it is not your fault. Everything in your upbringing, cultural circumstances and social setting told you it was acceptable to be in this kind of relationship. Told you to ignore warning signs you did see. [...]
Lesson 01: Exercise 03 Words have extreme power. When you communicate, your words can not only influence others, but can also transform your internal state on a deep and profound level. Affirmations are powerful, positive statements that aim to direct your conscious and subconscious mind, challenging previously held unhealthy and negative thinking patterns. When they are spoken with conviction, they can alter your thoughts, emotions, beliefs and behaviour. When used intentionally to create change, they can help project you into your achievements. Numerous studies have shown that repeating an affirmation can change your outlook on a situation. To give some of [...]
Lesson 01: Exercise 02 For the next exercise I’d like you to start a journal. This can be a traditional paper diary or book if that’s your preference. But if you are in a controlling relationship without privacy, you may want to consider a digital / online option. I’d recommend using Journalate. It’s free to use, is compatible on all desktop, tablet and mobile devices, and is 100% secure. Their article 5 Ways Journaling Can Help You Get Through the Hard Stuff explains the benefits of using a journal in the healing process. Use your journal to start writing down incidents [...]
Lesson 01: Exercise 01 Go back and read through this list again. Think back to the start of this relationship. And previous relationships. How many of these 15 markers can you identify with? The first step to healing is accepting that the abuse is never your fault. Abusers have one or more mental and/or emotional conditions that have lead them to the way they are. It is in their brain chemistry. And nothing you could have said or done differently would have changed that. By understanding and accepting this you can begin to take back control of your own life. Stop [...]
Early Warning Signs of an Abusive Relationship From an outward perspective abusers are often confident, charming and kind. We are taught from a young age that a romantic, passionate and crazy relationship is ideal. In this twisted reality intense infatuation is seen as true love. This unachievable expectation of love creates a lot of disappointment and heartache. Fairy tales and movies don’t tell us to look for the steady, rational, calm person that takes their time in getting to know us. And from this warped notion of real love comes the tendency in many of us to seek out relationships that [...]
What is Abuse? Abuse in a relationship is: “a pattern of harmful and coercive behaviours used to maintain power and control over a current or previous intimate partner.” Abuse can be control, verbal, emotional, mental, financial, physical or sexual. And can include shouting, name calling, threats, isolation and intimidation. Abuse does tend to escalate over time. If someone uses abuse or violence against a partner it is always about control.
Welcome Note Welcome to my Self-Empowerment course. Congratulations for taking the first steps towards a happier, healthier you. The first step is one of the hardest – recognising we are in an unhealthy and abusive relationship and that we need something to change. Moving forward know that you are not alone. I have been through the same struggles you are facing. I survived 20 years of an abusive relationship before finally finding my inner strength and voice. And the courage to take the steps to move on. And I’ve created this course to help empower, strengthen and guide you and others [...]